When Life Feels Like a Freefall: My Journey From Chaos to Clarity

Have you ever woken up and asked yourself, What the hell is going on in my life?

That feeling of being lost, of failure, not knowing who you are, what you're doing, or where you're going? Like your life feels like a freefall from a building as tall as your entire existence?

But these feelings and thoughts last only a few minutes before the hustle of the day starts. The reality of life takes over, and you don’t even have time to reflect on them—no chance to process those thoughts, come up with a logical answer, or grab onto something real before hitting the ground.

The alarm goes off. Shower, makeup, dress up, coffee, rush to work, kiss your partner or kids goodbye, and off you go.

You put on a nice smile and try to look confident and in control, maybe even wear red lipstick to cover the darkness inside, high heels to hide the self-doubt weighing you down. But the ruthless voice inside your head won’t stop:

You are not worthy, you are not enough, you are not getting anywhere. You are a failure.

And the day goes on, reacting to the relentless demands of life and the never-ending responsibilities—some chosen, some not—but you have to carry them. There's no alternative.

Who’s going to pay the bills? Take care of the kids? Build a home and family? Feed the dog? Make dinner? There’s no time to pause.

By the time you crawl into bed, you're exhausted and drained, but you don’t have time to deal with today’s feelings or thoughts—because life won't stop tomorrow.

That was me, not long ago!

I had a good life but was struggling to find balance between all my responsibilities and desires, and my commitments and ambitions. Every element of a good life was there, but something felt missing—something I couldn’t quite put my finger on. That emptiness was eating away at me, making it hard to truly enjoy life.

In the posts to come, I’m going to share more about what my life was like, and how I’ve navigated—and continue to navigate—the complexities of relationships, family, career, and finances, and the lessons I've learned along the way.